I've been trying to pay my student loans online, but it didn't go through.
So I called the 800 number for ACS Campus Products and Services.. And I got some guy named Josh. This was a snippet of our mind-bending conversation, word-for-word. NO EMBELLISHMENT.
Rena: "I've been trying to pay my student loan online but it's not showing up on my account or my bank statement."
Josh: "According to my records you never tried to pay your balance. You don't even have an account online."
Rena: "Yes, yes I did, and I do. I have the confirmation number for my payment. It's--"
Josh: "We don't keep confirmation numbers."
Rena: "You don't keep confirmation numbers? Then what's the point of giving them?"
Josh: "They're only filed if the payment goes through."
Rena: "You only keep confirmation numbers if the payment goes through? Then what's the point of them at all? If they've gone through then there's nothing to confirm. You would only need to reference a confirmation number if there was some sort of problem."
Josh: "That's just the way it is."
Rena: "OK. That's the way it is. Can you look up the latest activity on my account and tell me if the payment has been scheduled or if I need to pay again?"
Josh: "You don't have an account online with us."
Rena: "Um. OK. Yes I do. I have emails from my online account and my useless confirmation numbers for my payments, and my user name and login."
Josh: "Well your account isn't showing up in our system."
Rena: "OK. Where do we go from here? Do you have a supervisor that can help me fix the problems with my online account?"
Josh: "I am the supervisor."
Rena: "[Sighh...]"
What is this, Orwellian times Huxley era Idiocracy bullshit?
So I called the 800 number for ACS Campus Products and Services.. And I got some guy named Josh. This was a snippet of our mind-bending conversation, word-for-word. NO EMBELLISHMENT.
Rena: "I've been trying to pay my student loan online but it's not showing up on my account or my bank statement."
Josh: "According to my records you never tried to pay your balance. You don't even have an account online."
Rena: "Yes, yes I did, and I do. I have the confirmation number for my payment. It's--"
Josh: "We don't keep confirmation numbers."
Rena: "You don't keep confirmation numbers? Then what's the point of giving them?"
Josh: "They're only filed if the payment goes through."
Rena: "You only keep confirmation numbers if the payment goes through? Then what's the point of them at all? If they've gone through then there's nothing to confirm. You would only need to reference a confirmation number if there was some sort of problem."
Josh: "That's just the way it is."
Rena: "OK. That's the way it is. Can you look up the latest activity on my account and tell me if the payment has been scheduled or if I need to pay again?"
Josh: "You don't have an account online with us."
Rena: "Um. OK. Yes I do. I have emails from my online account and my useless confirmation numbers for my payments, and my user name and login."
Josh: "Well your account isn't showing up in our system."
Rena: "OK. Where do we go from here? Do you have a supervisor that can help me fix the problems with my online account?"
Josh: "I am the supervisor."
Rena: "[Sighh...]"
What is this, Orwellian times Huxley era Idiocracy bullshit?
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